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PRACTICE: Wesley joins the party

Posted on 06/16/2012 @ 7:58pm
Edited on on 06/18/2012 @ 5:03am

Mission: PRACTICE: Joint Posts
Location: Holodeck 1

as the party continued, the holodeck doors slid open with a hiss and Lieutenant Jg McArthur walked in.

" I'm sorry, I'm intruding. I was looking for the Fleet Captain."

Fleet Captain Samji turned to him and said: "I'm the Fleet Captain; what can I do for you?"

"I Have been having a problem with the communication systems. I tried to get you on my combadge, but I was on this deck and decided to join the party... with your permission of course," Wesley replied.

"Permission granted; the more the merrier am I right?"

In the short pause that followed, one deep yet soft voice could be heard through the confused din of the assembled crowd.

"What am I doing here again?"

The voice came from a dark-blue-skinned, white-haired alien standing near McArthur but slightly apart from the rest of the assembly. He was obviously Andorian, his antennae wobbling with annoyance from the top side of his thickly white-haired skull. But, although he was tall as expected from one of his kind, he was however amazingly broad and muscular. To Wesley's Human eyes, he looked like a very athletic man; but to those of his own kind, this Andorian must have appeared abnormally massive and powerful. He wore the standard black and grey-shouldered Starfleet uniform and on his red collar flashed the four golden pips of his rank.

"You are here to socialize, Captain."

This voice, clear but firm, dropped down from above. It came from the plush blue lips of another Andorian, this one a female... as much as that name could be attributed to one of this four-gender species. Aside from her own blue skin and long,straight and rich platinum hair where sprouted also a pair of antennae, she had all the attributes associated to females of most humanoid species: long, shapely legs in high black boots, wide curved hips and slim waist within the regulation short black skirt, generous bosom within the dark uniform vest with a golden collar showing the pips of a Lieutenant Junior Grade.

What set her apart however was her towering height; Andorian women were as a rule taller than the males but this one was taller than everyone else in the room, clearly well over two meters tall. Born of a passionate, violent warrior race almost as strong as Vulcans and just as tough as Klingons, it was no hard job to guess that she worked in the Security department.

Nevertheless, this towering woman seemed not to intimidate in the least the one she had called captain, the powerfully built Andorian, who grumbled:

"Socialize... Hmmmph! I know everyone in here already... and they all know who I am."

"Not everyone..."

This time, the giantess' icy blue pupils and knobby antennae were, all four of them, looking down directly at McArthur.

 

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Comments (1)

By Kheren on 06/18/2012 @ 4:46am

I took the liberty of converting your present tense verbs to past tense as required by RP rules and separate your line of dialog from that of Samji to make reading clearer.

Hope you don't mind.

You will notice that I put in descriptions of the characters I introduce (mine and his crewmate). We must not forget that we, the writers, are the ones through which the readers "see and hear" the universe our characters live in. The more descriptive and detailed you are, the more your character and his world will become alive and interesting.

As you can also notice, I introduced an NPC (one of my crew) into the story to build a short exchange with my character. This way, I can reveal a lot about him with but a few words yet letting the reader wonder what else lies behind these words and attitudes. Using NPCs to interact with your own character is not only permitted, it is highly recommended. Although you can't make other player-characters act or speak, nor control events and people within the story, you can thus take control of the ones directly interacting with you to build a scene as I just did here.

Last but not least: I end my text with a direct invitation for your character to act upon the event I portrayed, enticing you to interact with those characters. That being said, I do not dictate to you anything! The last line is open-ended so that you may either notice the giantess or not, act upon it or not, or the words you overheard or their peculiar appearance or whatever... anything as YOU see fit for your character in the offered context. Then, either I or Evshell or both will write according to what follows, then you to us, create an interaction of your own with NPCs (like I did here) etc

That's how RP works :)